There is that special moment when two people click, rather than simply meet. Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman, Crown Business, $ (p). The following summary of Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman’s book ‘Click – The magic of instant connections’ is courtesy of Paul Arnold. The Book: Click: The Magic of Instant Connections by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman, Broadway Books, $ Hardcover, Pages, June.

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We are not drawn bradman people by rational assessment, but emotional factors. People who connect better tend to be more successful, have more friends and work in teams that are more productive.

Vulnerability, Proximity, Resonance, Similarity, and Safety.

Business Book Review: Click by Ori and Rom Brafman – Dorie Clark

There are 5 accelerators of rapport building: Revealing our inner fears, weaknesses, builds trust oir we are putting ourselves at emotional, psychological or even physical risk metaphorically exposing our neck to them. These are fillers and the response is not particularly important.

We usually limit these conversations to only the closest people we know. However, used appropriately, they can be very powerful with a wider selection of people. The deeper we go, the bragman the engagement we can make. He first started off asking them what was their best and worst moment in their lives. But it was through discussing the worst moments that the team really connected.

Not only did they feel they had formed a closer bond, but months later they reported a retained sense of bonding.

He was seen as irrelevant. Clinton then went on the talk shows, and told people about his personal life: In short he became vulnerable — but he also became human. He formed a deeper personal connection with people who found him easier to identify with than his billionaire contenders. It is scary to reveal stuff cilck feels count-culturalbut when we brafmaj to the right amount, at the right time it can transform a relationship. But their fortunes were reversed by a random act of student accommodation.

Four of pri players were housed in the same dorm. With this combination at the heart of the team, they went on to win the NCAA tournament two years in a row. Talented as they were, none of them were superstars in their own right. When they left college and moved into the NBA, they went to different teams, and none of them achieved the level of success they had shown when they had been together.

She found it was not the normal convergence data such as religion, age, ethnic background, social-economics etc but their name. This was because they were more likely to sit together in the classrooms, so were able to develop conversations together. Sit even a couple of chairs away, and the chance of forming a friendship diminishes rapidly. The key was the people at the end of the corridors had fewer potential connections whilst those at the hub had a lot more.


The growth of digital connectivity through Face Book, emails, twitter etc does not create powerful connections digital allows for lots of misunderstanding which personal contact irons out.

One of the key findings is that proximity leads to spontaneous communication — i. Teams that were coick sat close together liked each other more and experienced less task related conflicts than those teams that were spread out. The four women then attended university lectures. One attended 15 lectures, another 10, the third 5 and the last none. In the lectures they were only to take notes and not converse with anyone.

They had to arrive early and sit at the front and then leave by the rear exit. At the end of term the students were shown pictures of the four women.

Yet subconsciously they had left a mark: In Flow — Some people are just natural connectors. These people find other people interesting and are energised by them. They create a magnetic affiliation that draws us back to them.

Being in the zone with another person is a most powerful level of connection. The outside world evaporates away — time seems to slip away effortlessly.

brxfman Indeed, there is a sense of euphoria as dopamines are released. They also try to meet someone at the same level — neither superior nor inferior to them — being non judgemental — they allow the other person to be who they are. They make other people feel special. Their ability to adapt to environments and brafmaj quickly — and in a fluid manner — is what set them apart. These people also tend to be at the centre of social networks.

In research, it has been shown that in just18 months, a high oori is able to develop the same quality of inter-relationships that a low self-monitor takes 13 years to achieve. It is because they naturally and unconsciously have a desire to connect that this happens. It acknowledges and validates them. We need to connect into what is important in them.

Mike Welch, a stand up comedian says the point of connection is the point of attention.

Summary of Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman’s book ‘Click – The magic of instant connections’

She cooked him foods from his childhood — Chicken soup, Kugel and Strudel. She had made a meal that transcended food — it connected with him at a deeper level. Likewise, the ability to maintain appropriate levels of eye contact helps build rapport vs.


Research found the higher the number of similarities between two people, the greater the likelihood of liking one another — irrespective of the level of the attribute i.

Thus finding any point of similarity with another person helps improve connection. As they left they were asked for a donation to cystic fibrosis by a person wearing a name badge sharing their rbafman first name. When compared to a base level where no badge was worndonation levels were doubled.

And conversely, the more unsafe the outside environment, the more it pushes us roi. We have brafmsn innate desire to belong and be part of groups.

A key part of being a member of a group is the trust that needs to be between the members of that team. The greater the trust, the stronger the bonds. And when that trust is broken, then the team becomes weakened. In teams constructed where people did not know each other were more congenial with each other, not wanting to offend — there was very little conflict. Thus ideas were not vigorously challenged, leading to suboptimal decision making.

‘Click’: That Magical Instant Connection Explained

However, in those teams of people who had already clicked together, they were much more robust in their arguments with each other as the level of trust previously developed allowed a more open, honest and expansive conversation — without becoming personal. Furthermore, if we are in a team that clicks, it makes it more enjoyable — even dull tasks.

One of the key conclusions they found was the level of communication between the four players both talking and critically listening. This helped built a deeper emotional understanding and connection. They supported each other but were also able to handle the difficult conversations when it mattered. And those quartets that clicked recorded more albums, received 5x the level of reviews and were able to charge twice the level of admission.

Research has shown that intense emotional experiences can also pull people together. Having a shared adversity helps e. This book is an easy read and in my mind, covers a very important of how to get along with other people.

This book is a collection of good, common sense principles but with few groundbreaking insights. There were a number of annoying research findings that are predictable — even bordering on the trite e. This website uses cookies and third party services.